A California state senator with a staunch anti-gay voting record came out of the closet Monday and asked for his constituents' prayers. 

"I am gay," state Sen. Roy Ashburn (R-Bakersfield) said, breaking his silence on a conservative AM talk radio show based in his working-class California district.

"Those are the words that have been so difficult for me for so long,' the self hating, homophobic homosexual declared to the surprise of no one. 

The admission ended mounting speculation that began last week when Ashburn was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving near a gay nightclub he reportedly patronized in Sacramento, California along with a bevy of other clubs including "Badlands"

A divorced father of four, Ashburn said he was wracked with "restless nights" and "soul searching" since the Wednesday arrest and felt he owed his constituents an explanation.

"I've always believed that I could keep my personal life personal and my public life public. But through my own actions, I have made my personal life public," he said on AM 1180 KERN Radio.

"I felt with my heart that you know being gay did not affect, wouldn't affect, how I did my job," he said.

He defended his ironclad opposition to gay rights, saying his votes reflected the majority views of his district.

Ashburn, 55, voted against an effort to recognize gay marriages performed legally in other states and last year and even opposed a bill to establish May 22 as Harvey Milk Day in honor of the slain gay-rights activist.

"I felt my duty - and I still feel this way - is to represent my constituents, not my own point of view, not my own internal conflict," the politician, who will leave office this year after 14 years in statewide office.

He said he no longer plans to run for Congress.