Ten years ago, Henry Stuart Matis walked up to the steps of a Mormon church in Los Altos with a note reading "Do not resuscitate" pinned to his shirt, and shot himself.
He was a 32-year-old gay man and devoted member of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and after a lifetime spent struggling to reconcile the two, explained in a suicide note that "for the first time in over 20 years, I am free from my pains.
"As I believed that I was a Christian, I believed that I could never be gay," he wrote. "Perhaps my death ... might become the catalyst for much good ... Your actions might help to save many young people's lives."
Early Thursday morning — the 10th anniversary of Matis' death — a group of local Mormons and others held a memorial vigil for Matis in Los Altos. Starting at Cuesta Park with songs and brief speeches, about 20 people then walked up Grant Road, carrying roses and candles.
They ended up on the sidewalk in front of the LDS stake center on Grant Road in Los Altos, where they set up a small memorial display with an image of Matis' tombstone and stories about his and other gay Mormons who have committed suicide.
Matis' body was found at the center, which serves as the headquarters for South Bay Mormon congregations, at about 7:30 a.m. on Feb. 25, 2000.
George Cole, a San Francisco resident who is gay and serves on the executive committee of Affirmation, a support and advocacy group for gay and lesbian current and former Mormons, said he didn't know Matis personally but has "lost too many very good friends to suicide.
"I know what it is like to seriously consider taking your life, he said.
Cole said he left the Mormon church in 2002.
"I chose happiness and fulfillment at the cost of not having the church in my own life," he said.
In a statement posted on the Web site of North Star, an organization that aims to support Mormons dealing with issues of sexual identity, Matis' parents said they did not support the memorial. Fred and Marilyn Matis said they "do not condone use of Stuart's death for a political purpose of any kind.
"The best way to honor Stuart, and avoid causing further hurt and grief to his family, is to take the time and effort to understand the difficult struggle the men and women who deal with this issue are going through, one by one, one person at a time," they wrote. "As those who knew Stuart best, we can say with confidence that this is what Stuart would truly have wanted."
Laura Compton, a spokeswoman for the Mormons for Marriage and one of the event's organizers, said she has immense respect for the Matis family and the event's intent wasn't to push an agenda.
"We weren't there trying to say 'Here is our political poster boy,' " she said. "We're here because it's a horrible thing that someone's life was lost ... Let's come together and share our stories with ourselves and let other people know that they're not alone."
Between 2001 and 2004 seven gay men in the Tampa area were murdered in a gruesome manner.
Most were tied up, drugged and strangled to death. Their bodies were dismembered.
Police caught a break in the case in an AOL chatroom, when they began a conversation about rough sex with Steven Lorenzo.
When questioned by police, Lorenzo refused to talk about the string of young gay men who were tortured and murdered, but Lorenzo's friend, Scott Schweickert, did talk.
Schweickert described how the duo would go to gay bars and bring someone home.
He described the torture each victim went through before they died.
The victims were made to "beg for their lives" before they were killed.
Both men are now in prison, not for the murders, but for drugging and sexually torturing nine young gay men.
Police say Schweickert confessed, implicating Lorenzo, but a disputed Miranda warning derailed the murder charges -- until now.
Tuesday, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled unanimously, (in essence) that Tampa police are required to inform suspects of their Miranda Rights only once. And if, at some future date the police start to question a suspect again, no Miranda warnings are needed.
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Prayers answered say the murdered men's families.
"I want the death penalty, all I want to know is where is my son?" says Pam Williams, Jason Galehouse's mom.
His DNA was found in Lorenzo's home, and Wachholtz told police Galehouse was dismembered and dumped in trash bins.
"All I know is, there's always been an excuse every time," Williams said. "Excuses, excuses excuses, and I'm tired of excuses. I want it done now!"
How soon is it that Lorenzo might stand trial at the courthouse on the murder charges? That's going to depend on the Hillsborough State Attorney Mark Ober.
"When I heard the decision," Ober said, "the first case that came into my mind was Lorenzo- Schweickert."
Ober says he is going to call in the victim families.
"We're going to look at it, we're going to meet with them and we'll sit down and they will be an integral part of our decision making process, and I look forward to doing that, it's time," Ober said.
Some legal experts wonder, with tight budgets, can we afford to put Lorenzo on death row?
John Fitzgibbons is a former federal prosecutor.
"Do you go out now and spend a million dollars or more to seek the death penalty that will probably result in 20 years of appeals, costing millions of dollars more?" Fitzgibbons asked.
